Now blow, Mets

Congratulations to Tom Glavine. From this moment forward, we are enemies. That is, until your enshrinement in Cooperstown and then I'll taste champagne.
Today the Braves took the series against the Colorado Rockies, winning in 10 innings. That meant another extra inning of the Baby Prophecy, Chip Caray. I was sooo beaten up after the game by the horrible commentary that, even after Escobar's game-winning hit, it was hard to feel relieved. The day had the aftertaste of a loss. And we won. Yeesh. Just to make a point and not have it seem like this is the Chip Caray Haters' Society (hmm), in the bottom half of the tenth inning today, with the Braves batting and two men on base, the Baby Prophecy is gabbing non-stop about the Rockies (at least they were one of the teams in the stadium, not always important to the BP) and the western division and their individual record against each team. Poor Joe Simpson had to force his way in to alert, "Yunel Escobar has a chance to win this game." Ugh. With all the drama of extra innings and the Braves having two men on, and the game on the line, the little monster can't shut up about nonsense. It was a great game but it didn't really feel like it. I won't even get into his girlish laugh or the way his voice cracks like a high-school kid every other minute. If I can ever afford satellite TV, I'll watch the visiting team's announcers as long as the disease that is... Chip ... infests Atlanta.
On the other hand, bring on the Mets. It should be a great series.

The Falcons are still flying under the radar which is fine. The first preseason game against the Jets is Friday night and I can't wait for kickoff. Not much brewing otherwise except to say GO TO HELL, NFL Network. Once again, there was a game tonight that I did not get to watch that I would have been able to watch two years ago. Ridiculous.

Victory is fleeting...

I missed Biff Benedict Pocoroba's birthday last week, at the moment I believe he's still the longest Atlanta Brave ever to spend his career completely with the team (nine years). That surely will be shattered in a few years when Chipper Jones or John Smoltz retires. Anyway, on to the Teixeira days and truly we are now an offensive juggernaut but tonight's extra inning loss was a deeply bitter pill to swallow. Five extra innings of the Baby Prophecy, Chip Caray!!! Finally I just tuned him out. You can't turn off the volume completely because it's too detached and I need the crowd noise and Bobby Cox, eternally rooting for his guys. Anyway, I did witness the possible end of the Julio Franco era on Tuesday night but I hope they can find a way to bring him back September first. He showed he's still got the fire. I was really riding high until the final out tonight but I won't worry too much. If we score in double digits like we have the last four games then we'll be fine. Tonight, let me reiterate, really sucked. And now the injury bug paranoia is starting to creep up. This was supposed to be a happy occasion.

I read nothing but positive news from Falcons training camp now. What a relief. With both eyes open I look forward and see good things happening to begin the Petrino era. I can't wait for the first preseason game, which is just seven days away. And if you get a chance, watch ESPN First Take, which comes on in the morning and then they beat a few topics to death for a few hours. Mostly it's a bunch of preening idiots spouting opinions like conservative talk radio hosts. Don't watch too much of it, though. Just peek at the train wreck. Which leads me to... Thank God the Raiders signed Daunte Culpepper so they can stop speculating whether or not the Falcons would sign him. They said they wouldn't. Two minutes later, ESPN has someone say, "Will the Falcons sign Daunte Culpepper?" Then Chris Mortensen, a good reporter, comes on and says the Falcons will not sign Daunte Culpepper. Five minutes later, going to break, someone says, "Why Daunte Culpepper would be a perfect fit for the Falcons." AARRGGHH!! We didn't want him and said so. Repeatedly. He couldn't beat out Joey Harrington in Miami last year, why would he now? All the speculation was a thinly veiled way to say that the Falcons should sign a black quarterback to keep some of their alienated fan base happy. What a crock. Thanks God sanity prevailed.

In-Tex!

Hot damn, John Schuerholz is back and this time, it's personal. Not really, but what good business. I'll be at the Turner Field for tonight's game but at this moment I can't get confirmation that Mark Teixeira will be wearing the tomahawk in time. I sure would like to see his name in the clean-up slot when I look up at the big board. When Fred McGriff played his first game for the Braves, the press box caught on fire in the fifth inning. They played through it somehow and the Braves came back for a big win. The momentum of that night lasted for a few years. We'll miss Saltalamacchia, one of the greatest names to come through here in years (Pocoroba, comes to mind) but we wish him well and that he finds stardom in the American League. Meanwhile, I can blow my own horn. If you read back two weeks here in the Malted Falcon, you'll see that I asked Kyle Davies if he wanted to be in spring training with Kansas City or Tampa Bay next year. Well, he just got traded to the Royals for Octavio Dotel who could wind up being our closer if the Wick Man doesn't get his head out of his ample ass. Good luck, Kyle. Ron Mahay, the lefty, could be the hidden jewel of the Teixeira trade, hope, hope. In one cross country flight and one off day, The Atlanta Braves look like the class of the East once again.
Still, I don't feel like the actual juggernaut starts til tomorrow because I can't exactly root against the Mets tonight. Tom Glavine is going for win number 300. Now, if you call yourself a Braves fan, you should be rooting for Tom tonight. I'm not going to go into all the foolishness of the last few years. I'll just say that if you boo Tom Glavine, you're not an Atlanta Braves fan. I'll take it a step further. If you boo Tom and you think you love the Braves, you are just a moron. It's really that simple. He gave us a World Series and his plaque will be in Cooperstown with him wearing a Braves' uniform. Good luck, Tom. And then I hope you don't win another one this year. Get it done tonight and then August belongs to Bobby Cox and the boys.

It looks worse every day for Michael Vick. But I really don't attach football thoughts to him anymore. Mostly it's a circus but I have to put up with ESPN saying almost daily that Atlantans still support Vick. They make us look stupid by going into the downtown barber shops and taking whatever screwball comments they get and run with it. Atlanta has spoken. Get a clue, dummies. Most Atlantans now are interested in going forward with Joey Harrington and just want the words Atlanta and Michael Vick to no longer appear in the same paragraph. He's from Virginia, right? That's where your problems started.

Birds Reborn

The circus gathers as Mike Vick is set to enter a plea today. It seems he's got a trial lawyer so that probably means we won't get a guilty plea and be done with this. Training camp starts today with Joey Harrington as the starter. I'm glad Bobby Petrino has flatly name Joey the starter and not made this feel like any bum has a shot at the job. All the UGA fans in Atlanta will be crowing for D.J. Shockley to step in, but what does the team want with Mike Vick Lite? You'd have another QB who dances around, can't find the open receiver, and takes a ton of sacks. I love an underdog and I'm a little buzzed about rallying behind Harrington. Who knows what kind of coaching he got in Detroit? Let him start fresh with Petrino and I'll take my chances too. One of ESPN's morning munchkins, Michelle something-or-other, actually sneered at Harrington. She's supposed to be the host. What happens if the Falcons start 6 and 1 and they want an interview? What happened to professional courtesy? Anyway, I'll put dollars against the rest of Harrington's career next to Daunte Culpepper's.
Oh, and one more thing, ESPN. Terrence Moore of the AJC or the Two Live Stews do NOT represent Atlanta or the way most Atlantans feel. Get some other opinions.

The Braves had been handling the Giants til last night's 2-1 loss. I can handle a loss, but a loss called by Chip Caray stings twice as much. As soon as the last out is made I'm scrambling for the remote so I won't have to hear another syllable. And TBS has us hostage all week except for the Saturday game on Fox which will be another stink pile. To make matters even worse (yep, it turns out that was possible) Craig Sager has carried his ridiculous wardrobe to San Francisco for a little in-the-stands commentary. Last night he interviewed dopey old Bud Selig for an entire inning and a half! Of course, not one new thing was said. I've had the sad experience to be in the presence of the almighty Sager and he's a worm. I at first couldn't figure out why he was at the games since he thinks he's Mr. NBA, but then it became clear when they brought out the tapes of Hank Aaron hitting 715. Sager was a local news reporter so he got to "greet" Hank at home plate. You can see him way too much in the tapes. He's the one trying to reach over the other players who are congratulating the Hammer so he can pathetically try to pat him on the back. In one scene it's pretty funny when Sager just gets shoved back into his trench coat.
Which reminds me of another thing. ESPN has been playing the Vin Scully call (which I had never heard, properly) over Hank's 715. The call where he talks about "a black man in the south, breaking the record of a baseball idol." What crap. The Milo Hamilton call of the game is the great one and even Curt Gowdy's on NBC was okay. Why did they pull one of Scully's worst moments out of the trash?

Flying Low

Things are happening fast. Still, I have to wonder how many games/ months/ years will my franchise be held hostage. That's the wrong attitude, I guess, because we fed the beast by signing him to the giant contract. Anyway, on the sports side, everyone seems to be writing off the Atlanta Falcons for this season, like we depended soooo much on Mike Vick anyway. I say the guys we put on the field come out with a giant chip on their shoulder for all the crap they've had to deal with and funnel that energy into something positive. I again predict the Falcons will have a solid season unless other injuries crop up. I'm ready to get on with football.

The British Open was exciting but I was left a little melancholy at the finish. I was pulling for Sergio to carry the torch for Seve and he came ever so close. Unfortunately, they send you straight to the press hounds and you've got to tell the world about how terrible you feel about your collapse on the grand stage. Serg said some things I wish he hadn't, but I understand how crushed he must have been. He should get credit for just trying to answer the questions so close to the moment. He tried to be honest about the how he felt and he's getting crushed for it. Which brings me back to ESPN and the downward spiral of the Worldwide Leader. On the 6 o'clock SportsCenter in Monday, Mike Greenburg anchored a segment on the British Open and Sergio's post-match comments. He concluded by telling Garcia to, "Shut up." Who the hell is Mike Greenburg? Is he a journalist of any renown? I know he's not a former athlete with experiences from which to form an opinion. Yet there he is with a forum, acting like an almighty expert with swagger enough to tell a world class athlete to shut up. A competitor who had just given everything he had in competition and then had the courage to face the inquisition when he could have walked away to his private thoughts. I applaud the effort of Garcia and Harrington and hope that Mike Greenburg will shut the hell up. Although, you've gotta like the Harrington karma if you live in ATL!

The Braves are off to a great start in San Francisco and Smoltz had no problem pitching to Bury Bonds. The piece o' crap will get the record sometime soon but I don't think the blood will be on our hands. The TV waters become turbulent over the next few days as TBS is taking the team hostage for a week so I'm stuck with Chip (Baby Prophecy) Caray for what will seem like an eternity. I won't waste too much space on him here because I'm sure I'll be wound up for an entire rant in a few days. Anyway, I think this road trip might be a springboard to a typical Braves' push through August which will return this team to its proper glory. Carpe noctem. (They're playing a night game tomorrow)

Hail the Harrington Era!

Ok, I'm trying to take all this in at once, reading the AJC, CNNSI, and ESPN with the Baby Prophecy in one ear calling the Braves' game. So far Smoltz looks sharp. And I've got to get on to a plane to Scotland later this evening so I can cover the British Open. I'd hoped I wouldn't have to write about the Falcons until training camp starts next week but fate intervened. This is one of the ugliest events in Atlanta sports history which is no small boast. I crowed with glory when the announcement came across the wire in 2001 that we had traded for the top pick in the draft. I had watched several Virginia Tech games that year and couldn't believe the Falcons were going to get the most exciting player to come out of college in decades. This was a moment that was supposed to elevate the franchise for the new millennium, and I guess it did for a couple of seasons, but now I've got a sick feeling for my team and I don't think it's going to go away for a few years. Ever had a hangover last more than one day? I hope my internal plumbing can weather the storm.

Character matters. If you asked me if I could reverse history and the Atlanta Hawks could win multiple championships if we had Dennis Rodman on the team, I'd take things the way they are now. I wouldn't take that piece of crap on my team for one day in exchange for a ring. I have to wonder at the mentality of the person that likes dogfighting. Now I don't live in a sedate world and I understand the primordial fascination that goes back to the days of gladiators in the coliseum. I understand blood lust, it's in our genes. But we evolve and we give one another comfort that we are protected from chaos and we are protected from those who would take advantage of the weak. Dogfighting preys on the weak, the animal whose faith is blind and trusting. Ugh.

I don't even want to stand on that soapbox. My concern here is my team. Daunte Culpepper? Please. That sack of meat was finished three years ago before he blew his knee out. The fact is, over the past two seasons, Vick was 7-9 as a starter on a team without much competition in the division. Ever since Vick signed the huge contract a few years ago, he's looked soft. That's a plain fact. The guy doesn't like to get hit and that's what his game is all about. I admit I was looking forward to seeing how number 7 would look in a new offense, but after the last two years my faith was shaken and I, like a lot of fans (I bet), was already thinking about who the Falcons' QB would be in two years and what a balanced offense would look like. I'm not giving up on THIS season. We have a lot of great players and we're going to compete. You heard it here. But it is going to be a heavy burden to hear about this all season long, every game, every time the logo appears on the tube. Woof.

Smoltz has gone six without giving up a run but we haven't scored yet. Grr. He's struck out nine so I guess the shoulder is ok but I'll be watching him close the rest of the season, I guess. No score, two out in the seventh with a man on second, and the Reds let the pitcher hit. K. Thank you! Let's get some runs, as Harry Caray would've said. Old, Salty Balls delivers. Hee haw.
Make that ouch. Soriano just served a two-out gopher ball. Down 2-1 in the 8th. But the Baby Prophecy is having a decent game. Something to build on? If only. Gotta dig in for a rally. Holy crap, Julio franco just re-signed and will wear number 14 tomorrow night. Somebody's going to Richmond. Hmm, Thorman, Davies, Ascanio? Anyway, Andruw comes thru for first and third, one out. Let's do this, Frenchy. Yup, sac fly, tie game. F*** yeah. Going to the ninth, thunder and rain here in Smyrna so they've got about 25 minutes before it hits at the stadium. Don't need a delay, I've gotta travel. The Wick Man comes on and he's tough at home. Let's get him a win, shall we? I knew I spoke too soon. Wick Man walks someone with one out and B.P. doesn't mention it until ball four. Watch the damn game!! You've got a great seat, you poodle. "The point of what we were saying obliquely, throughout the broadcast, is that.... " He really just said that. Ernie Johnson, where are you today? Anyway, bottom of the ninth and Mike Stanton in the game. Have the Reds thrown in the towel? Sheesh, he struck out the side. Ok, gotta leave you in the tenth. See you across the pond!

Zoning In

So begins the Weekend Warp... The Braves look mighty coming out of the break with a sweep o' the Pirates, but c'mon, this is a team managed by Jim Tracy so it's no big surprise. Andruw Jones looks ready to have a normal second half so it'll feel like he's on fire, compared to the frigid results up until about the 4th of July. If you booed Andruw before, shame on you. He's a lifelong Brave to this point and he's given Atlanta eleven great years. I noticed Chris Woodward played like a man on fire today so it's pretty obvious he knows Julio Franco will clear waivers and be available in a few days. I can already see old man Julio with the big hit in September to crush the Mets. Hope, hope. Chip -Baby Prophecy- Caray got to call two of the three games this weekend which left me a little tense. Today, with the score 1-1 in the 4th, he starts talking about one of his favorite subjects: the Florida Marlins. Where does this come from? And we have to talk about the standings every day, for our division and the Central, for some reason. I guess because the Baby Prophecy still considers himself "Mr. Chicago", even though I'm sure Cubs' fans are laughing at their good fortune to be rid of him. Anyway, Buddy Carlyle is the big story. He's our third best starter right now. Kyle Davies, you gotta decide if you want to be a Brave or in spring training with Kansas City or Tampa Bay next year. I'm pulling for the local guy but I haven't seen much to give me hope.

The weekend went out with a fizzle, with ESPN running the ESPY Awards. Twice, in case you missed it, and I wouldn't exactly say I was missing it. Basically, it feels like the whole "Who is more Now?" crap to the highest setting. It's Sunday night and the first SportsCenter comes on at 3 a.m. Does this make any sense? It's like that joke, though, about the food at the restaurant being so bad, and such small portions. I don't know if I would've watched SportsCenter anyway but on Sunday night I'd like to think it would be there for familiarity, if nothing else.

I'm looking forward to the British Open in a few days. I'm thinking of heading over to Scotland and doing some live reports on the pampered lot that we know as the professional golfer. We'll see how that goes. I'm praying for drizzle, yo, and wind that will send you running for a clear nip of the local nectar.

On the Hawks' front, reports from the NBA summer league make it sound like Shelden Williams is in the same boat as Chris Woodward for the Braves and he's trying to play his way on to the team, while he's still on it. Al Horford and Acie Law are fitting right in but I learned not to get excited about summer league results last year when Marvin Williams was the summer league MVP. I thought he was ready for a huge year, and he didn't have a bad one, but he hasn't made me forget Chris Paul yet and I'm praying that that will happen in the next few years, but I'm breathing freely while I wait. Mike Woodson is still the coach (term used loosely). I haven't recovered yet from the stab in the back of the horrible new uniforms. What a failure and lost opportunity to reconnect with the forlorn Atlanta Hawk fan. A disgusting lack of vision.
Sorry to end on that note. Bring on the Reds.